As a child, can you imagine trying to go to sleep next to a bomb? And then being threatened to not tell or you would be killed? That’s what happened to me. As a young child, I was given a beautiful perfume bottle as a Christmas present — a perfume bottle that looked like a bottle of hair mousse. My brother, who was 3 years older than me, shook it violently and then placed it very gently and carefully at the bottom of my bed. He told me not to move or it would blow up. I believed him and didn’t sleep well that night.Read More →

My life, like everyone else’s, had its ups and downs. My brother and I would take turns spending weekends with both grandmothers’; go to church, to the library, do some baking and play games. We had the best time with them. While at home, everyone would be quiet, doing their own thing. Usually during birthdays or holidays is where you’d find us happy, joking and enjoying our time together. It wasn’t until years later, I discovered why we spent so much time away from our parents. My father had been diagnosed with manic depression during his teenage years and we didn’t know this until IRead More →

Ron Ellis started out as a professional hockey player to speaker, now speaks about his personal experience with depression. Ron Ellis is remembered for his career with the Toronto Maple Leafs and member of the Team Canada hockey team. During his 15 years as a professional player, he assisted in bringing the Stanley Cup home for the Leafs in 1967 and won against the Russians with Team Canada in the World Hockey Summit Series in 1972.Read More →

Joanie Malarchuk is wife of former NHL hockey player Clint Malarchuk. 28 years ago the then 27-year-old ice hockey goaltender, of the Buffalo Sabres, suffered one of the most gruesome injuries ever seen in professional sport. His throat cut by a stray skate, he survived thanks to his team’s trainer reaching into his neck to pinch shut the severed artery that would later need 300 stitches.Read More →

How well do you know your friends, co-workers or even family? It would be surprising to know it doesn’t matter how well you know them, they may be hiding something from you. What you may see is a happy marriage, a great job, lots of friends. What you won’t see is the unhappiness, lack of energy, constant self-doubt and changes in appetite; a few symptoms of high-functioning depression.Read More →

On September 12, 2016, I went to listen to former NHLer Clint Malarchuk speak for the World Suicide Prevention Day. He touched on his medication and drinking, how he mixed the two and how it affected his mental illness, himself, his family and his suicidal thoughts. I do know, from personal experience from loved ones, how important it is NOT to mix alcohol and or drugs and certain medications when you live with a mental illness.Read More →

Imagine having the same thoughts in your head or seeing the same visions in your head, over and over again. Now imagine experiencing this when you’re supposed to be sleeping. This happens to many people who live with mental illness and happened to me. I remember always having to sleep with the radio on or I would have nightmares. The radio always “tuned” our my parents’ arguments and I could sleep. Not realizing I may have developed PTSD, I still had to sleep with the radio on even after I moved out of the house or I would have the same dreams over and overRead More →

allinyourhead.co.uk   What do you do when a situation is the most positive of experiences, but your not equipped to deal with spot light or praise? I’ve mentally beat myself up for so many years now that I don’t know any different. I recently attended an awards ceremony where I was one of three nominees for an award that evening. When I got the call I was happy, but not overly joyed, some friends and family said I should have been ‘overjoyed’ ‘ecstatic’ ‘over the moon’ etc.. but really, it was just ‘OK’. I put the phone down , told my fiancée who was veryRead More →

allinyourhead.co.uk First of all, apologies as I haven’t written a blog for a while. It’s down to a few reasons, work family also, I have been reading a few blogs and social media (tweets, Facebook posts) . Everybody has their own unique way of writing and telling their stories which is amazing, it’s really helpful and takes some bottle to really open up and tell all, I have total respect to you all and thank you. While reading them, I can see myself in most but also get why there is this stigma (which is bollocks). I tried to read from a neutral point ofRead More →

During the years, I must admit…. Even though the panic/anxiety has been crippling and I would not wish it upon my worst enemy, there have been some stories to tell. I cringed at the time, but when we (I mean close friends and family) talk about it them, laughter comes of it. Which can only be good? When I was about 25, the attacks were in full flow, I could not be left alone , never!! As you know , I was desperate , dependant on everyone and anyone. Selfishly struggling through that part of my life.Read More →