For those of you who aren’t aware, I am VERY PASSIONATE about Mental Health Awareness. This year I am proud to be participating in CAMH’s fundraiser to fight the stigma against mental illness, while on the #sicknotweak Team. This year, for One Brave Night for Mental Health, I’ll be staying awake all night on May 13 to inspire hope for the one in five people who experience mental illness in their lifetime. Continue reading
Written by Anita Levesque
The mental health community was in shock yesterday, March 29, 2016. Patty Duke passed away at 69. She was a very well known actress but she was best known for her mental health advocacy work since her bipolar diagnoses in 1982.
It was in the late 1980’s and I remember my grandmother talking about my father going to psychiatrists and counselors when he was a teenager, because she knew there was something not right, she called it a chemical imbalance.
When I was younger, I knew there was something wrong with my father and tried to be patient with him. There were days he didn’t want to see or talk to anyone and would be in his room for weeks a time. Once he comes out, he’s happy, ready to go places, buy whatever we wanted. Other days he was so angry at the world, violently angry, veins growing on his neck and face beet red angry, he would take it out on anyone who was around him; family and/or friends. He lost a lot of friends and some family didn’t want anything to do with him. Continue reading
What do you do when a situation is the most positive of experiences, but your not equipped to deal with spot light or praise?
I’ve mentally beat myself up for so many years now that I don’t know any different.
I recently attended an awards ceremony where I was one of three nominees for an award that evening.
When I got the call I was happy, but not overly joyed, some friends and family said I should have been ‘overjoyed’ ‘ecstatic’ ‘over the moon’ etc.. but really, it was just ‘OK’.
I put the phone down , told my fiancée who was very pleased and carried on with what I was doing. That was normal for me, don’t get to happy, don’t get too down… Try to stay level. If I get excited, I’ll panic if I get sad, I’ll think and panic. So my place has been in the middle which kind of makes me wonder: Am I boring? Am I really living? Or just getting by? Does my fiancée think these things bout me?! She has recently mentioned that I seem very grumpy and quiet .. Ohh Fuck!!! Not what you really want to hear, but accepted and I’m working on it. It really isn’t meant.
Anyway, I took my best mate to the awards evening as my fiancée was stuck at work. To explain a little, my mate is a positive person, he’s like a real life Peter Pan, he will never ever go a day without laughter! And will do his best to brighten up the darkest of situations, a good man and a dear friend. Continue reading
First of all, apologies as I haven’t written a blog for a while. It’s down to a few reasons, work family also, I have been reading a few blogs and social media (tweets, Facebook posts) .
Everybody has their own unique way of writing and telling their stories which is amazing, it’s really helpful and takes some bottle to really open up and tell all, I have total respect to you all and thank you.
While reading them, I can see myself in most but also get why there is this stigma (which is bollocks). I tried to read from a neutral point of view and read every word as though I’d never struggled with anxiety attacks and mental health issues due to them. The words , the sentences they seem fictional!! Even though I know that they are 100% true, a ‘normal’ person reading them will think that we are lying. But why would people make things up? I write not to scare sufferers, I do not lie, I just want to let people know that it is ok, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT!! I’m willing to tell you what goes on in my head and my life to try and help if you want to talk about or read it.
The help is great, can’t fault the blogs, however I’m going to talk about an incident, one like no other has made me think about people and my mental illness.
Us caregiver’s take on the role of care-giving because we have to, because we want to, but most of all because we love someone who needs us to fulfill this role.
I’m going to dive right in and state that sometimes I want to bang my head on the keyboard when I see or hear another reference to ‘tough love’ like it is something to be shunned and ashamed of. The idea that by practicing ‘tough love’, one is not practicing ‘unconditional love’.
Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection.
Last month on the 28th of February I tried to commit suicide for the third time.. I took an overdose and cut both my wrist so deep that I needed stitches.. The Monday I got admitted to a psychiatric hospital for the second time in two years..
During the years, I must admit…. Even though the panic/anxiety has been crippling and I would not wish it upon my worst enemy, there have been some stories to tell. I cringed at the time, but when we (I mean close friends and family) talk about it them, laughter comes of it.
Which can only be good?
When I was about 25, the attacks were in full flow, I could not be left alone , never!! As you know , I was desperate , dependant on everyone and anyone. Selfishly struggling through that part of my life.
Hi, today I want to talk about medication, mania, voices and finding the right doctor.. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder about a year ago.. I have been hearing voices for two years.. well I’ve been hearing them on and off.. depends on my mood.. Continue reading
Giving in can be a hard option. I’ve read a load of quotes paragraphs even heard people say that ‘quitting is an easy way out’
I don’t see it that way at times, I think some people jump on a bandwagon and without thinking of what is being quoted to them, they go with it. It instantly takes away that argument that you have with yourself when questioning something, which is in fact ‘the easy option’.
The amount of happy, friendly, enjoyable environments I have taken myself out of because of quitting is no ones business, but I’ve felt far worse for doing so let me tell you.
Sometimes when writing or blogging I will use the term roller coaster… As a parent or caregiver of someone with a mental illness it is a term a lot of us use. A very fitting term if you ask me. There are lots of different roller coasters throughout the world. One of the top ten being the Bizarro (formerly known as Superman: Ride of Steel) in Agawam, Massachusetts USA. My favorite, possible because I have ridden it, is the Ghoster Coaster. It’s a small wooden one in Canada’s Wonderland in Ontario, Canada.